2020 Reimagined: Tips for the Holidays

Mental Wellness

For many people, this year has been far from what was imagined.  In addition to the personal crises and losses that exist in everyday life, there have been multiple collective moments of crisis. Now that the holiday season is upon us, more people may once again be stretched to their emotional and mental capacity. The desire to engage in what was previously familiar, yet now unavailable, may produce a sense of sadness or despair.  Plans may be changed and canceled yet we can control how we react and respond to the changes.  Here are a few tips for reimagining the holidays.

1.     Acknowledge Where You Are in the Moment

Emotional awareness is powerful by itself.  Take a moment to ask yourself “What am I feeling?”  If you are not feeling particularly festive today, it is okay.  There is no one way that a person “should” feel.  Acknowledge how you feel in the moment. 

2.     Think Outside the Box

Mourn what you are not able to do and create a list of what you can do instead. Use this time to create new traditions and rituals. Find safer ways to celebrate. I’ve heard a few creative examples including:

·      Candy Scavenger Hunt

·      Virtual dinner parties, recipe exchanges and cookie decorating parties

·      Secret Santa Drop-Offs

·      Name that Holiday Tune

·      Create your own holiday movie drive-In

·      Create a shared online Family Photo Album

·      Develop a theme and mail decorations to loved ones to create a shared experience 

·      Create a virtual cook off and use the video conferencing as if you are the host of a cooking show

3.     Create and Respect Boundaries

Create

Take a moment to think about what boundaries mean to you.  Boundaries are a way to give yourself space and room for who you want in your life and how you will interact with them. They are a positive method to enhance your relationship with yourself and with others. Look at what you need to feel your best during this time of year and create that space.  A few ways to create boundaries include saying what you mean when you say “yes” or “no”; honoring your core values and knowing your comfort zone.  

 Respect

If loved ones have different Pandemic Practices than yours, accept that they may not show up for festivities that are held in person.  Allow a person’s “no” to stand for itself.  A “no” to an invitation is not a “no” to the relationship or being close.  Shaming and blaming others is not going to foster closeness.  It may have the exact opposite effect. It is okay to feel disappointed and that may be shared without shaming. 

There is no one way to process everything that is going on in the world. You can still celebrate the moments of joy where you find them.  I invite you to seek support as needed.